Tvång i relationer är aldrig respektfullt
”coercive relationships are NOT respectful, for they are denial not only of desire but of growth. if i am bound by my lover’s jealousy i presuppose them incapable of dealing with their emotions and too retarded to change.
for someone to feel hurt by another it does not mean anyone has wronged anyone else. this is tricky land to negotiate but it is far from impossible. to openly accept feelings of jealousy and fear without asking or expecting another to restrict their behaviour thereby “solving” those feelings forces us to be the possessors not of another but of our own emotions. my hurt is my hurt. we can ask loved ones to love us through the hurt, and like the infant, we will probably find that hurt lessen and often leave. in particular, the victim culture of women ñ even amongst anarchists and feminists — is shackled by concepts that someone else is responsible for our feelings of rejection or upset. it is pitiful to blame our lovers for wanting someone else, even desiring someone else more than you, and even desiring someone else and not you.”
Emile Armand